Severe earthquake in Indonesia has no effects on Shiavo case

A severe earthquake measuring 8.7 on the Richter scale which struck Indonesia on Tuesday had 'little or no effect' on the Terri Schiavo case, the 24-hour news networks confirmed today.

The networks made the announcement to explain why they had for the most part retained their massive media presence outside Ms. Schiavo's hospice in Florida while offering scant coverage of the Indonesian disaster, which has so far resulted in a death toll topping 1,000.

'While the Indonesian earthquake appears to be a disaster of unspeakable magnitude, it is difficult to see it having any lasting impact on the Schiavo story,' one network source said. 'The public trusts us to deliver Schiavo news on a 24-hour-a-day basis and we do not intend to betray that trust.'

Consistent with that mission, the networks today asked the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for an emergency ruling that would keep the Schiavo story alive at least until May sweeps.

Joining in the appeal was the Rev. Jesse Jackson, who told reporters today that 'we must do everything in our power to keep these television cameras rolling.'

'There is no rational reason for disconnecting these TV cameras as long as they are pointed at my face,' Rev. Jackson said. 'As long as there is publicity, there is hope.'

Elsewhere, to pay his respects to the late Johnnie Cochran, former football great O.J. Simpson said he would take one day off from looking for the real killers of his wife Nicole."

Source: The Borowitz Report